Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

Thursday 10 June 2010

Be ye angry and sin not



"Be ye angery and sin not"

The Greek philosopher Epictetus said many years ago that "any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."

When talking to my staff at work over the years, I often used Epictetus’ observation after a client had really upset them. I would tell them that no one can make you angry without your permission. One day a gentlemen came into my office, and we had a discussion with my door open, and they heard his conversation with me. Later, after he left, I walked out and they all looked up at me smiling and reminded me that no one can make you angry without your permission. I replied, "That is true and I just gave him permission." We all had a good laugh.

We are in control of our emotions, and we must control them if we hope to please our heavenly Father. Anger itself is not a sin. We are told that "God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day." We know that God cannot sin, so His anger is righteous, His judgments are just, and it is right for Him to feel indignation over the failings of mankind. Our anger is not always justified, and often we sin when we react while we are angry.

We know that what made the Lord Jesus angry on many occasions was the hardness of the hearts of those he had come to save. In one instance, a man with a severely deformed hand was brought before Jesus by the authorities who hoped to use the man’s deformity to discredit Jesus. Mark tells us, "And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other." Jesus was angry but he did not sin. We need to take care not to sin when we are angry.
What should we do when we begin to feel the flush that anger brings, when our heartbeat quickens and our temper rises? We must take immediate action to take control of ourselves, and many times the action to take is to retreat and not respond. Back away, turn around, bite the tongue, but do not react. It is when we respond too quickly to the anger that fills us that we use inappropriate words and excessive actions that are sinful.

We can do something in anger that cannot be undone. They tell the story of Alexander the Great who in a fit of anger grabbed his spear and threw it at his best friend. It hit a vital spot and the friend fell down dead. Overcome with grief, Alexander fell on the dead body weeping, bitterly regretting not having controlled his fit of anger. We know that King Saul many times cast his spear at David as he was playing the harp trying to soothe Saul’s feelings of depression. In a moment of anger, Saul even attacked his own son, Jonathan, with a javelin. Fortunately the LORD was protecting David and Jonathan and they were able to escape the fate of Alexander’s best friend.

When angry, we can say things that hurt, we can act in a very un-Christlike way, and sadly, we can do it towards those we love the most. We need to learn to be in control of our emotions. While anger is not a sin, we must be very careful that we do not react in anger and sin in the process. We must be in control of our emotions at all times. We need to plan how to bring our emotions under control when we feel anger.

There is a story about a time when Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, was accused of inappropriate actions by a general. Lincoln suggested that Stanton respond by writing the general a letter. When Stanton finished the letter, he showed it to Lincoln who praised him for the strong, direct language he used in the letter. "What are you going to do with it?" Lincoln asked. "Send it," Stanton replied. Lincoln shook his head. "You don’t want to send that letter," he said. "Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now, burn it, and write another."

Abraham Lincoln’s method for avoiding an angry knee-jerk reaction was to write a letter, which gives cooling off time and a chance to plan a more balanced response. It has been said, Speak when you are angry and you will give the best speech you will ever regret. Rather than blurting out our thoughts, we need to walk away from a situation when we’re angry, count to ten, take some deep breaths, and perhaps write a letter so that we don’t react hastily and sin. Usually, as Lincoln found, that letter written in anger should never be sent. We should rip it up and then rewrite it to soften our language, remembering as Solomon tells us, "A soft answer turneth away wrath." So often the actions we contemplate when angry are actions we would later regret if we acted on them.

We can read in the book of James how to control our emotions by listening more and slowing down our reactions: "My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry." Let us keep in mind this good advice, and remember the words of Paul who tells us, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath".
Robert J. Lloyd

The Christadelphian
TIDINGS
OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD
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Friday 29 January 2010

The first on the list of the concerns of the saint

 Love One Another

This should, of course, be first on the list of the concerns of the saint. And most of what has been said to this point is obviously related to love. But, as we near the conclusion of these matters, we must make a special effort to consider love once again.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Cor. 13:4-7).

God is a jealous God. He demands all our love and attention. But because we love God the more, do we love our brethren less? Our love for God is different from our love for another person. If we truly love God, we will show our love for Him in practical expressions of love for others. True divine love does not exclude human love; rather, it enhances it.

Verses 4-7 above contain a dozen or so characteristics of Scriptural “love”. We shall consider each one in turn:

“Love is Patient”

We have the example of Christ, who patiently taught his disciples and time after time helped them when they stumbled and lacked faith. Undoubtedly there were times when he wanted to throw up his hands and abandon the effort altogether, for they were so slow to learn and so bent on maintaining their own natural affections. But he loved them dearly; he loved them despite their inadequacies; he prayed for them; and he persisted until his efforts began to bear fruit. Can we do any less for our brethren?

“Love is Kind”

This English word “kind” is one of those pale, sentimental words that just does no justice to the original. We should say, instead, that love is considerate ­ showing an active, involved concern for the needs of others, even to the detriment of one’s own comfort. We probably all think of ourselves as being “kind”, for we certainly are never “unkind”! Are we?

“If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit?” (James 2:15,16).

There are times when a “kind word” is no more than hypocrisy, because it masks a failure to help in any practical way. Have we ever been guilty of such an act, in a benign, “friendly” indifference to the circumstances of others? Then we may have been courteous and civil and pleasant, but we have not been “kind” in the Scriptural sense, and we have not been loving.

“Love Does Not Envy”

The divergence of gifts among the Corinthians was a cause of envy. Likewise, envy can result today from comparisons between brethren: “Who is the better speaker?” “Why was he elected Arranging Brother?” “So-and-so wants to run everything. Who put him (or her) in charge?” The person who can ask such questions does not have at heart the best interests of the whole body.

Jealousy, or envy, is a terrible disease, and often fatal in the spiritual sense. It destroys its originator much more quickly than the one at whom it is directed.

“Love Does Not Boast ... is Not Proud”

Envy and boasting are quite closely related. They both stem from the same basic problem: love of self rather than love of others. True love does not have to be pushy. It does not need attention. It can afford to wait. Remember what Jesus said of the arrogant Pharisees ­ who did their works to be seen of men: “They already have their reward.” Let this not be said of us.

“Love is Not Rude”

Sometimes a gentle admonition or even a stern rebuke needs to be administered. It is possible to be in the right ­ even to say the right thing ­ but to say it in absolutely the wrong way. A criticism may be correct in every particular, but if it is delivered with a superior or proud or overbearing manner it will not achieve a good result. As always, the principle is consideration for others: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In short ... love.

“Love is Not Self-Seeking”

Have you ever participated in a three-legged race? You may be the fastest runner at the picnic, but you'll wind up sprawled on the grass unless you can adapt yourself to the style of your partner. This principle also holds true in the ecclesia. We are all members of the one body, and we must learn to function as a unit. We are “yoked together” with our brethren in many endeavors; we cannot always choose the way that pleases us most.

Your way of doing things may always be the best, but it won't always be the one chosen by the majority. Then what do you do? Go along or “drop out”? There have been cases of members leaving meetings because of absolutely trivial disagreements, in which they failed to get their own way and just could not bend enough to go along with others. And they, and sometimes their families, have paid for that stubbornness with twenty or thirty years of self-imposed isolation.

There is an extremely illuminating passage in this connection:

“For even Christ pleased not himself” (Rom. 15:3).

Just six little words, but a world of exhortation and self-examination. If even Christ did not please himself, who are we to think that things should always go our way? Who are we to please ourselves in everything?

“Love is Not Easily Angered”

A person possessing the true love of God has a peace of mind that no other has. In the midst of strife and controversy, he maintains a calm and reasoning mind, and a disposition to peacemaking. He has that same inner serenity that sustained Christ through his great trials.

A person in such a frame of mind cannot be offended by others. He is not provoked to backbiting or vengeance. He relies upon the grace of God, he knows that there is a final judgment that will right all wrongs, and he is not concerned about what man may do to him in the meanwhile. If God is for him, who can be against him?

“Love Delights Not in Evil, But in Truth”

If ever a thought might be coupled with “Let a man examine himself”, surely this is it! Don't we all do this? Don't we all listen to gossip and rumors and evil insinuations? Don't we all ­ sometimes ­ derive pleasure from the shortcomings of others, especially those who have previously appeared to be models of uprightness?

We judge ourselves by the standards of others, and when we do this we are glad to see them fall. We tend to think we are lifted up in proportion as our brother is cast down. But when we live by this standard we are completely corrupting Paul’s teachings of the unity of Christ’s body and the dependence of one member upon another. These lofty ideas lose their meaning when cooperation is replaced by competition.

“Love Always Protects”

We need go no further than Christ’s example. Christ bore our sins in his body on the tree, and more than that he bore our sorrows that he might be a perfect mediator.

The mind lingers on a picture, perhaps well-known to many. One boy with a younger one on his back. “He ain’t heavy. He’s my brother!” Strain is obviously there, but he bears his burden gladly. All things are relative, aren’t they? Yes, in more ways than one! We are willing to do for our families what seems intolerable if done for others.

Do we sit in the meeting on Sunday morning, and feel that those with whom we break bread are really our family? Or are our expressions of “Brother Smith” and “Sister Jones” merely a formal, stylized address? Let us live that family relationship of which the Bible speaks so often; let us rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Let us “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).

“Love Always Hopes ... Always Perseveres”

The Christian’s life of love is a joyful existence. In the midst of sorrows and pains, he rejoices in the great gifts of the Creator.

His eye is firmly set upon the hope that rises as a mountain before him. There may be a valley to traverse before he reaches that distant peak. But he never takes his eye off that glorious future; and all life’s little annoyances and inconveniences are seen for what they are ­ stepping stones en route to the Kingdom. Paul says in another place:

“I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:12,13).

All that God has given us ­ riches, talents, intelligence, health ­ diminishes with the passing of time. Man grows old and dies. Only love remains, as a bridge between this life and the life to come, a bridge over the chasm of eternal nothingness. Every other gift or talent will fail, just as the Holy Spirit gifts finally ceased. The only thing that endures is the character of man, engraven in the infinite mind of God.

- Brother George Booker
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A New Creation
A Manual for New Christadelphians, Young Christadelphians, and Prospective Christadelphians Chapter 46


Dutch translation / Nederlandse vertaling > Het eerste op de lijst van de zorgen van de heilige

Wednesday 6 January 2010

The business of this life


SOMETHING TO CHEW ON

As Jesus watched the people of his day criss-crossing the pathways of Palestine, and possibly thinking also of all those coming in the future, he said: “Take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with ... the cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares” (Luke 21:34).
 The business of this life is not adding business to business and land to land, or diploma to diploma, or dollar note to dollar note. The business of this life is a personal preparation for the coming of the Lord and the ensuing fellowship with him throughout eternity. The hope of eternity with Christ ought to be as real to every businessman as his balance sheet. It should be as real to every worker as his pay packet, but unfortunately, it is not so. The crumbling, material things that are seen are given more attention than the indestructible things that as yet are not seen.

 Above the din of the market, the buzz of social gossip, the stamping and mirth of the pleasure spots, booms the unmistakable voice of Jesus Christ with a steadying question: “What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” How foolish to grasp out after possessions far and wide and in doing so pass up the most priceless treasure closest at hand - one’s own soul. Some may think this question applies only to would-be world dictators, tycoons, and top-flight entertainers. But no; it sounds into everyone’s world. The busy housewife can lose her own soul among the shopping, the baking, the washing, the social round, if she lets life slip by without seeking after God. Of what value then is all her busyness? The daughter of fashion can lose hers among the style books, the fabric counters, the dress shops, if she does not stop to pin her faith securely on the hope of a garment of righteousness obtainable only from Jesus Christ. 

There is plenty in a man’s world too, to make him lose his own soul if he will not take time to search Christ out, even though such searching be done at night as was the case with Nicodemus when he had his heart to heart talk with Christ. Then what shall it profit?
  This question contains many words used frequently today. “Profit,” “gain,” “loss” - these words escape from the lips of businessmen every second. The far-reaching deal, the sure contract, the safe investment, the “what’s-in-this-for-me” attitude, are like the taxes - for ever with us. “Steady, steady,” sounds the voice of Jesus. “See, that eternity with me is the most far-reaching deal, the surest contract, the safest investment. There is everything in it for you that could possibly be desired. I cannot reveal it to you in perfect detail now, but I must ask you to trust me. I have failed no one yet.” In times of anxiety his voice speaks again: “Steady now, I am with you.”

When we long to retaliate for wrongs done to us, again that calming voice penetrates our hurt and our angry frustration? “Vengeance is mine. Don’t you take the law into your own hands, for I will repay” (see Rom. 12:19). Anger is a great bungler, and it has well been said that we get at odds when we try to get even.
  “Steady, steady,” says the Word of God in times of financial adversity. “The silver is mine and the gold is mine. I can supply your need. I don’t let the righteous beg for bread. David will tell you that.”

  In every age God has used His faithful ministers to halt the headlong rush of His people. Haggai, the great minister of rebuke, called in loud tones to the people of his day: “Consider your ways, consider your ways. See how unprofitable all your selfish striving is. Your wages are going into bags with holes in them. Your grab-all-policy is a lose-all-policy, if only you would wake up and realize it. You are working yourself to death for nothing. There is no lasting gain for you while you let the work of God languish, and there is no satisfaction for you while you give Him no satisfaction by your conduct.”

  Paul, the fearless apostle to the Gentiles, commanded the church members at Corinth to, “Examine yourselves whether you are in the faith; prove your own selves.” Quite likely there were a number of those who heard this who felt hurt at the thought that their minister doubted them. Some would be indignant, but Paul knew what they needed, and though he did not want to upset them, he wanted to stir them to see that their nominal profession of Christianity would not save them. Their faith must be nurtured, and guarded.

  May God bless all the faithful ministers who sound just such a steady warning to the people under their care. And may God give us all the grace to listen to them and to accept their counsel in the spirit in which it is given.

  We must daily seek the Lord with the request that He will prepare us to be sounding boards for the “steady” warning.” Often friends look to us for advice when they feel that they are too close to a situation to sum it up properly. Other times they fail to see that they need some guidance, and this is when we need Divine tact to point it out to them. We are told that we should not give advice unless asked, but that doesn’t always hold good. “A friend in need is a friend indeed,” and “faithful are the wounds of a friend.”   A young girl once said how grateful she was for the timely counsel of an older friend. She had enjoyed a long acquaintance with a young man, but now he was beginning to show trends of conduct that did not fit into acceptable Christian living. The conflict in her mind was sharp. How could she marry him, and yet how could she break it all up? She hesitated, hoping things would change. Came one morning and her friend with it. They talked things over. Finally the friend said: “Remember, while you are single we can do everything to help you, but if you marry him, we can do nothing.” Then she went away. The warning penetrated her confused thinking and settled a decision in her mind. Her friend’s wise departure at that point emphasized the on-your-own-if-you-marry-him part of her message. >From that morning on the young girl determined she would marry a Christian, a true-blue one, or no one at all.

  May God help us all to be faithful and tactful friends. We need to ask the Lord to help us to speak to the point, and not to “let our train of thought be wrecked by a flood of emotion,” when we have to counsel those near and dear to us. Brief, meaningful sentences, full of logic and understanding, penetrate and motivate, whereas an emotional, verbose talk bordering on a long drawn-out speech only produces negative responses.

  In home life, in social life, in business life, and most of all in decisions for eternity, let us heed the Word of God, and the words of our ministers, parents, teachers, and friends.
- John Aldersley



Dutch version / Nederlandse versie > Activiteiten in dit leven nagaan
For related articles in Dutch: , , , , , , , , ,


Friday 30 October 2009

Be holy


"Be Ye Holy - For I Am Holy (Lev. 11:44)

"If we are to attain to the Kingdom of God, and to a condition of eternal usefulness to God, we must in this life lift our minds to an entirely new plane of consciousness and thinking: to the plane of holiness - far above the natural, animal desires and interests of the flesh. Holiness is Beauty: the Beauty of Holiness: all else is ugliness. Holiness is Separateness and Purity: a Separate Purity: a Pure Separateness. The mental food that creates the transformation of our minds from natural repulsiveness to spiritual attractiveness is the Spirit-Word, continuously and liberally indulged in. "Without holiness, no man shall see the Lord." Naturally, we are the very opposite of holy. To become so, more and more, is life's purpose: its ONLY purpose.

 Any time spent that does not contribute to this is precious divine time wasted: unfaithful stewardship. "Perfecting holiness in the fear of the Lord" is a large enough command, and a high enough ambition, to completely fill any lifetime.
With God's bountiful and loving help, lift your mind above all natural childishness and foolishness, all interest in worldly things, all unclean fleshly habits and thoughts, all of the ugliness of the flesh, as anger, impatience, harshness, unkindness, selfishness, lack of sympathy and compassion and healing, forgiving love. "Be ye holy, even as God is holy."
What a joy! What a revelation! What a beautiful, noble company!
"Worship the Lord in the Beauty of Holiness!"
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Brother G.V. "Rene" Growcott

Dutch translation / Nederlandse vertaling > Weest heilig
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2013 update:

"Aaron, Holy to the Lord" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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Wednesday 21 October 2009

Malefactors becoming your master


"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master;
he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."
- Epictetus (55-135 AD)

"Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit."
Proverbs 25:28

God, let me always be in control of my mind and body.
Give me that I may not become annoyed by others,
and let me not anger by those who would want or provoke.
Dutch version / Nederlandse versie >
Two people in a heated argument about religion...
Two people in a heated argument about religion when Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Boosmakers worden je meester
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Saturday 25 July 2009

She who sows thistles will reap prickles


"She who sows thistles will reap prickles."
- English Proverb

"He who sows wickedness reaps trouble,
and the rod of his fury will be destroyed."
Proverbs 22:8

God teach me always to respond properly
and let me never lit anger
but let me scatter and harvest peace.
Dutch version / Nederlandse versie > Zij die distels zaait zal stekels plukken
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2013 update: 
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Thursday 18 June 2009

He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger


"He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger."
- Japanese Proverb

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Proverbs 15:1

Lord give that I can always manage to control myself
and that I can calm down others by my friendliness.


Dutch version / Nederlands > Hij die glimlacht in plaats van te razen is altijd sterker
+++
2013 update:
 
"We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile." -Japanese Proverb (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)
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He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger


"He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger."
- Japanese Proverb

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Proverbs 15:1

Lord give that I can always manage to control myself
and that I can calm down others by my friendliness.


Dutch version / Nederlands > Hij die glimlacht in plaats van te razen is altijd sterker
+++

2013 update
 
"We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile." -Japanese Proverb (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)
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Monday 1 June 2009

God does not change

"Let's get one thing clear; God is not changeable. He does not suffer from moods or depression. There is no "shadow of turning"; the Bible says, with Him.

That means that He does not have double standards. It also means that we cannot do things behind His back as it were. We are always in His sight. He is faithful and consistent.

There are examples, of course, of God's kindness and mercy in the Old Testament. The law of Moses, strict as it seems, was founded on very merciful principles. If it had been kept properly, it would have resulted in a clean, caring and just society. Provision was made for everyone down to the very poorest of the people. Even the humane treatment of animals was provided for.

Why then was there this idea of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? How does this square with the very different teaching of Jesus? Did not Jesus tell us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us?

Yes, he did. Indeed it was Jesus himself who invited us to make this comparison. He first mentioned this difference between established teaching and his own word.

We need to know first, however, what the "eye for an eye" idea meant. This is not the licence to retaliate that it sounds to be. It was concerned with the operation of justice.

Think back to the last argument you heard. It probably began with something quite trivial. Before long, however, it escalated. Something was said that evoked a retort. That provoked another comment which, in turn, led to a slightly stronger reply. Gradually the two sides forced each other further apart. Each answer became a little more extreme. Soon people were saying things that were exaggerated and which later might be regretted.

That is always the case. Human nature always has to go one better (or one worse). The tendency is to hit back harder. "He has blacked my eye, I'll black both his:"

It was exactly that which the law was designed to prevent. It was not so much a permission as a restraint. First the wrong had to be established. When that was done, punishment had to be administered. But the punishment must fit the crime. It was not literally the gouging out of eyes, but a just measure of punishment.

Jesus plainly said that he did not come to destroy the law. He did not change it to mean something else. What he did do was to take the principles of the law a step further.

For example, he pointed to the law which said a man must not murder. Jesus looked at what gives rise to murder. He considered the root cause. He said that a man should not be angry with another. If a man controls his anger he will not commit murder.

Jesus drew attention to the commandment not to commit adultery. Again, he saw that the basic failure of man in this sin was his lust. Jesus instructed that a man should control his lust. He taught that the desire and planning of such an act was wicked. It was as bad as the act itself if only the opportunity to carry it out was missing.

So with the law which permitted a punishment equal to the crime. The law restricted the retaliation. It was far better, as Jesus taught, if man could overcome his desire to retaliate altogether. He should love his enemies and do good to those who hated him. Vengeance should be left to God. He will see that true justice is done ultimately."
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Brother John S. Roberts
The Bible, the Lord Jesus and You
God Does Not Change

Wednesday 7 January 2009

Singing gift from God


Psalm 104:33-34 I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the LORD.


Dutch version / Nederlands > Zingen geschenk van God



Thoughts
    Do you sing in the shower? What words are on your lips? Singing is such a wonderful gift! First, it is a gift from God to us, to help us express our joy, excitement, sorrow, and victory. Second, it is a gift from us to God, to help us communicate our respect, appreciation, love, and confidence in God. So let's sing, praising God for what he has done, proclaiming what he will do, and sharing what he is currently doing in our lives!

Prayer
    O God, Father in heaven, even your name is holy. Please exert your will over my heart, and the hearts of those in our world, so they more closely reflect your holy character. I trust you, dear LORD, for the food I need each day. I ask you, Holy Father, to forgive me as I release my bitterness and anger which I have held against those who have wounded me -- I will need your help to do this. Empower me, O God, to resist the temptations and deceptions of the Evil. Please make my life a glorious witness to your grace. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.